brainstorming my character.

Today I was inspired by my little, Tabitha (tabithateacup.wordpress.com) to write this post. As I am going through the editing process of my first manuscript, I am finding it difficult to keep parts of myself and people I know out of my story, and I thought that on that note I would follow my little’s lead and brainstorm who I am as a person. Not who I want to be, or who I think I am, but actual facts about the person that I am.

Okay.

So I am Cassie. I am 24 years old… And it literally kills me to write that number out. I have been 24 for 11 days now, and it’s sinking in that I am almost nearly halfway through my twenties and I am terrified because I am nowhere near where or who I thought I’d be at this age.

I’m pretty much a walking contradiction, and not just like those stupid Starburst commercials.  I majored in Public Relations, but I am hopelessly awkward. I live for music, but I have not a single musically talented bone in my body. I want to write books and have people want to read them, but I am terrified of rejection and having people I know read the words that I poured my heart into.

I feel like pop-punk music has the ability to define me, but I also really think that I should have been a teenager in the 80s. I cry when people are happy. I sometimes think my cat is a person, but I think that’s okay because I’ve had him for a lot longer than most people have been in my life. I miss my sister daily. I’m sort of oddly afraid of vacuums and blow dryers, but I love the sound of loud music. Sometimes I really think that I take people into account too much, rather than thinking about myself.

Harry Potter is my small way of holding on to my childhood when everything was less complicated. I have a little trouble believing in love because few things in my life have told me not to. I miss having a place to call home besides my apartment. I constantly worry that people are moving forward and that I will get left behind.

When I was younger, my sister and I would watch Dirty Dancing like once a day, sometimes more than that. I’m glad that I get to talk to my Mom every day again, and I honestly think that my Dad is one of the most incredible human beings that I have ever met.  Also, I just cried a little writing that sentence.

I’m addicted to vinyls, typewriters and the romantic notion of mixtapes because I yearn for a less hostile/violent world, and the past always seems like it was better than the present. I love daisies because they were my Grandma’s favorite and I always feel like when I see them she is smiling at me. I think about running away constantly, but know that I never actually could.

I love the feeling just before the plane takes off on a trip, and I love fictional characters too much sometimes because I know that they will never break my heart. I listen to songs on repeat, and I have an overwhelming fear of ending up alone.

Also, for some reason I am scared to post this, but I am going to do it any way for that exact reason.

Thank you little for inspiring this post. http://tabithateacup.wordpress.com/2013/01/14/brainstorming-your-own-character/

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2 thoughts on “brainstorming my character.

  1. Cup O Swank Studio says:

    Good post! Very sincere! I was a teen in the 80’s and to this day, I work (art & writing) best when I play that music. I know WHY it works, too. Because it takes my mind back to a time when I really didn’t have any grown-up problems to worry about, and I can honestly hear an 80’s song today and remember exactly what painting I was making in my room when I heard it the first time. Weird. But I get what you mean. 🙂

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