nearly a year later.

gradThinking of those words really makes me cringe. I graduated college almost a year ago. I repeat, I graduated almost A YEAR ago. And what have I accomplished? Well, I became a gold card holder at Starbucks. Does that count for something?

I know that at some point everyone has to grow up. I realize that. But does that mean that I have to fall into complacency? I think I have hit this wall of adulthood, and you know what? I am not feeling it.

I have this urge to run away and go explore, but at the same time I am terrified of quitting anything. I have never been unemployed. I have worked from the moment I turned 16, so the idea of having nothing to come back to scares me. I don’t have the option of moving home because in short, I have no family home. So I don’t even know how feasible my running away would be considering that I would have no home base.

I also have been considering grad school because to be honest I miss school. I miss deadlines and papers. I miss meeting new people and being thrown into group projects which force you to talk to each other. Those are the exact things I dreaded when I was in college, and here I am a year later waxing poetic about them. But in retrospect, I am also the girl that wrote 50,000 words in 30 days. So I guess I am a glutton for punishment.

I guess I am just in this rut because I have always known what I wanted to do. And for once in my life, I don’t have any clue. I never struggled with what my major would be. I joined a sorority. I was an editor on the school paper. I was in two honor societies. I was in the PRSSA. I was an intern with the River Cats. I just always had something I was working toward. But now what is there? An 8-5. And that is it. I don’t have a kid on the way or a husband, like a lot of people I graduated with. Hell, I don’t even have a boyfriend.

I just miss having something new every day. Am I always going to feel this way?


End rant.




P.S. If you can relate to any of this rant, then I have the perfect song for you.

3 thoughts on “nearly a year later.

  1. Hey Cass, I graduated in 2011, and I miss school just as much as you do. Things will turn around. You’ll get another project sometime, I’m sure of it!!! One day you’ll look back and thing, “Wow, funny how I got here…” 🙂

  2. Cassie,

    The world is at your fingertips and somewhere somehow you will find the answers you so desparately seek. Just keep doing what ONLY you do best & keep focused on the Big Picture. You have such a knack of expressing yourself and that SPECIAL somebody will find you. When life deals you lemons remember “Make Lemonade” –

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